All You Have To Do Is Try
by StarLight Pixie
Summary: Heero loses Duo... And inside it hurts. Will he be able to forgive, forget, and move on with his life? Yes, of course, yaoi...


HiYa Minna! How is everyone? *crickets*   
Quatre: *whispers* Get to the point, Pixie.   
Um, yeah. I'm StarLight Pixie, as you know. I know the title sucks. This fic may be a bit OOC, but I'm not sure if it qualifies as "sappy." Tell me if you think so, and go easy on me. I wrote this for Cherry's Songfic Challenge, and it's horrible, I know. And yes, IT IS YOAI. You don't like? Deal. *sticks out tongue* I usually don't write yoai, but we'll give it a try, hm? I've never heard the song, mind you, so I couldn't really get the feel of the lyrics (Which I mixed up to fit the story.). Nonetheless, I hope you guys enjoy.   
Now, can I get the Disclaimer?   
  
Quatre: *puts on official look* Yes. Now… Oh my! I must have my translator for this. Translator!   
  
Trowa: *very cranky* What?   
  
Quatre: Psst, your Translator badge is on upside-down.   
  
Trowa: Do I care?   
  
Quatre: Ahem, the disclaimer.   
  
Trowa: Basically Pixie-chan doesn't claim to own us, (though she wishes hard) or the Barenaked Ladies song, "Told You So". She doesn't want anyone suing her either, because then Heero would have to kill them.   
  
Heero: *twirls gun around finger* That's right.   
  
Wufei: *smacks forehead*   
  
Duo: *grabs gun from Heero* Hey, that's my move!   
  
*the two argue*   
  
Pixie: Um, anyways, ignore them and enjoy!   
  
***   
_|...|_ = Lyrics   
_ ...Thoughts... _ = Thoughts   
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -   
All You Have To Do Is Try…    
  
_ |Have to let it go   
It's time to let it go   
Now I can't believe   
Took so long to leave   
Perhaps one day I'll grieve…| _   
  
I can't believe it, No, I can, but I should have realized it sooner. If I had just paid more attention…   
  
I never thought I would do it. Well, even if I suspected my falling in love, I would have tried to avoid it. But everyone knows you can't avoid love, even if you try.   
  
I tried. It didn't work. I fell in love with Shinigami. Duo Maxwell.    
  
_ |A viral infection that can incubate for years  
Caused by affection falling deep into arrears  
No medication to procure  
Makes me pure, there's no cure, I am sure  
I never mentioned how I prayed for you,  
and now I've paid for you| _   
  
The five of us have been living together peacefully now for almost a year-if you call Duo and Wufei's constant arguing peaceful. Poor Quatre-I've lost count of just how many little tiffs between the four of us he's had to break up.   
  
Now the house is too quiet. Duo isn't bouncing into the kitchen in the morning shouting, "Ohayo!" to everyone, including the cat. Actually, if I'm not up by 8:30, he bounces into my room instead.   
"Ohayo, Heero!" he would say brightly. That's when I would roll to the other side, pull the covers over my head, and grumble something about it being too noisy. Duo would laugh. "No, you can't have five more minutes, sleepyhead!"  _   
  
|I never jumped in and rescued you, but I wanted to   
I didn't tell you which way to go, 'cause I   
thought you'd know| _   
  
I never thought I would miss that annoying wake up call, but I do. What I would give to go after Duo, and convince him to come back, somehow. I would gladly go after him, but I can't. I would get all the other guys to come with me, but I won't. No, as much as it hurts, I'm happy for Duo. It was his decision, and I won't disagree.   
  
The thing that hurt most was when I found out he loved another. That girl, Hilde, she started visiting a few months ago. At first I assumed she was just being friendly; but my mind told me different when I watched them whisper things in each other's ears and giggle together over something. And of course, the hair ruffling and nighttime outings. I knew it then that I had lost my chance. My chance to tell Duo everything.   
  
Before, I wouldn't do much talking with Duo. He always knew exactly what to say, and exactly what I was thinking and how I felt. We were close, like most good friends. But I've been trained since a child not to show my emotions-on the battlefield or anywhere else. Sad, ne? How could I tell him? It was too hard to even begin considering what to say. So, I waited patiently until the time came when Duo would feel the same way and do the talking, as usual. That time never came.   
  
All my suspicions were proven a few weeks ago. I was working on my laptop, and Duo walked into my room. I waited for him to speak: The regular invitation to play a game of cards or go watch some TV, as he usually proposed. Nothing came, so I turned and looked at him. Duo was sitting on my bed, staring at the ground. For a while, it was quiet.   
"I'm leaving." He announced. He had said the words softly, but they hit me hard like a sack of bricks. I already knew the reason.   
Trying to keep my voice calm and steady, I asked, "When?"   
He sighed. "Tomorrow, with Hilde. I'm packing now."   
I couldn't help it. "With... Hilde?"   
Duo finally broke his stare on my floor and gazed into my eyes. "Heero, please don't-"   
Those intense blue eyes. I hated to see the pain in them, especially when I had just caused it.   
"Oh, no!" I waved my hands apologetically, trying to hide the sadness. "I'm glad you two finally got it together!"   
Duo smiled, his eyes clearing of the doubt. "Good." He must have been worried about how I would react. Maybe, just maybe, he knew? Or at least suspected how I felt. But, then why didn't he say something? Oh, if only he had…   
  
_ |I never told you I agreed with you, I don't think I do  
I wasn't sure quite what the whole thing meant, but I'm glad you went  
I never thought that it could be painless, but it is I guess  
I had myself fooled into needing you, did I fool you too?| _   
  
As planned, Duo and Hilde left the next day. We had a small going away party. I faked it and acted as happy for the new couple as the others. The whole afternoon, it stormed. I stood at the window, watching them leave, and then stood there much longer after.   
"Hai, Heero, why don't you go after him?"   
I whirled around and came face-to-face with Quatre. He must have snuck up on me, because I didn't think anyone else was in the room.   
I glowered at him, to depressed to give the DeathGlare. "What are you talking about?" I muttered.   
Quatre gave me one of his don't-try-that-with-me-I-already-know looks. "You know what I mean."   
So he did notice. I sighed and dropped the dumb, know-nothing front. "And what then?" I asked, my voice filled with anger and hurt. "I've got no business doing that. They belong together."   
"If you would just talk to him, I'm sure he'd understand..." Quatre began to suggest, but I tuned him out and tore out of the room. At the library hallway, I broke into a full-out run, dashing past a surprised Wufei and slamming my door shut.   
  
Maybe I should have taken Quatre's advice. After all, he had already hooked up with Trowa, and the two weren't having any problems. I felt a twinge of jealousy. But what after that? I don't want Duo to come back here, feeling guilty, and what's the point of even telling him in the first place? He's gone. I couldn't, I've tried, I'm just too...   
Wait a minute. A thought just occurred to me. Am I too scared? Is that it? Am I afraid of what Duo would say, afraid it might ruin our friendship? That's an interesting one, my being afraid.   
  
The thunder crashes outside and it storms heavily, just like the night my closest friend left. And it's funny, because now I sit here, tracing the raindrops on the window with my finger, I think about all the times I could have become closer to Duo. All the chances, and I pushed him away. Sighing, I let my forehead fall against the cool windowpane.   
The lightning flashes outside, and the doorbell rings. I paused and listened, hoping I wasn't hearing things. "Is someone going to get that?" I yelled. I can hear Quatre's shower water upstairs (he's nuts in this weather), and Wufei and Trowa cheering about some soccer game in the living room, oblivious to everything else. Heaving another sigh, I got up from my comfortable position on the window seat and walk towards the door. What I didn't expect when I opened it was a familiar pair of violet blue eyes.   
  
_ |You had a problem with your newfound   
wealth, you brought it on yourself   
I never said I told you so, but I told you so| _   
  
I unsuccessfully tried to hide my surprise. "Duo!"   
He was soaked from the pouring rain. Shrugging sheepishly, he said, "I couldn't find my key."   
"That sounds so typical." I laughed and pulled him out from the cold. "Here." Tossing Duo a towel, I motioned for him to sit down. "Why are you here? Where's Hilde?"   
  
Duo took a deep breath. "That's why I'm here." He said quietly. "I made a mistake."   
  
_ |Have to let it go   
It's time to let it go   
Now I can't believe   
It took so long to leave   
Perhaps one day I'll grieve…| _   
  
I looked at him, and felt my heart skip a beat. For a moment, there was silence in between us as I gazed into his eyes, trying to read what was there. I couldn't find what I was looking for, however.   
He glanced at me hesitantly, uncertain of whether to continue. "I shouldn't have left." He voice was barely over a whisper. "I would like to know something, before I make another mistake."   
I blinked. What was he getting at? "Well?" I prompted, surprised at how shaky my own voice was. Duo looked slightly frustrated, his blue eyes clouded again…   
"I think… I was wrong. To leave. And… something pulled me…… Oy, Heero, have you ever loved someone and didn't know how to tell them?"   
  
_ |…Perhaps one day I'll grieve  
Or I never will…| _   
  
I blinked. He did know. I could read it plainly in his eyes. I felt emotion well up inside of me. "Duo…" I whispered. He stared at me, hopeful, I think. And right then, everything poured out. I told him about how I had felt when he was around, when he left… I think I said more that night than I've said in the past two years.   
I babbled on and on until Duo put his finger on my lips. "Shhh." He smiled and pulled me close into a hug. "I guess we just never got it together, huh?"   
"But you're here now, aren't you?" I asked. That's when the soft brush of lips on my cheek surprised me.   
"Yup."   
I hugged him tightly. "Should we tell the others?"   
Duo pulled away and looked my in the eye. His eyes were shining, and he had one of those big Duo Grins on his face. "Of course!" he said.   
We strolled into the other room. Wufei and Trowa were groaning about something and yelling insults at the referee on the TV.   
"You guys--"   
"SSSHH!!"   
"But we--"   
"THE GAME IS ON!!! WHERE IS YOUR JUSTICE, YUY, MAXWELL??!!"   
We both exchanged glances at Wufei's outburst. He managed to keep his eyes on the screen in front of him.   
Quatre walked in, rubbing a towel around his still-wet blond hair. "Hi guys--"   
"THE GAME IS ON!!!!!"   
"Yeesh…" Quatre shook his head. Then his gaze lingered on us for a second. He chuckled. "It took you two long enough." He quipped.   
"Wait a second." Trowa actually stopped staring at the TV long enough to eye us. "You two finally hooked up?"   
"Yeah!" Duo said happily. He was grinning hard. I always wondered how he managed to grin that much and not get his face stuck that way.   
  
_ | Or I never will  
I never will  
I never will…| _   
  
  
"This calls for a celebration!" Quatre dashed into the kitchen and came back with five glasses and a bottle of champagne.   
"It's not that big of a deal…" I felt myself turning red.   
Trowa shrugged. "Of course it is! Remember how we partied when Quatre and I announced being an official couple."   
"Yeah, I'd never thought I would see the day when Relena got trashed." Wufei laughed. The game had quickly been forgotten.   
Quatre uncorked the champagne and passed the glasses around. Duo and I exchanged a small, secretive smile. This had to be one of the happiest moments of my life.   
  
_ |Never will, never will, never will…| _   
  
-THE END-   
  
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Sooo??? What did you think???   
  
Quatre: *ahem* *pulls out official-looking glasses and sticks pen behind ear* According to The Official Editing and Reviewing Book of the Official Series, it says here in correspondence with Paragraph H5, Section A13F-   
  
Duo: In English, if you would.   
  
Quatre: Where's my translator? Ah, there you are…   
  
Trowa: *comes in with Translator badge* It stunk. Horrible.   
  
*everyone nods in agreement*   
  
Quatre: Thank you, Translator, that will be all.   
  
Author: *lets head thunk on table*   
  
Duo: *pats her on back* It's ok, Pixie-chan.   
  
Heero: Yeah, the readers will give you good reviews. If they don't- *says in Relena-threat fashion* *points gun at person reading this* I'll destroy them.   
  
Wufei: *pokes head in* Who took the remote? The game's on.   
  
*big groan*   
  
Heero: Baka…   
  
So? Please be nice and R/R!! Constructive Criticism welcome. Like I said before, I don't own GW. HOWEVER, this story is mine AND MINE ONLY!!! No copycats!! MINE, ALL MINE!! *big maniac cackle*   
  
Quatre: Whoo boy… Duo, call the mental ward again.   
  
Duo: *sigh* *picks up phone* Third time this month…   
  
  
*******************************   
More Author Notes: (Are ya tired of these yet?) OK, look, I know it stunk. Don't ask me what kind of mood I was in when I wrote this. I'm also aware of the fact that I screwed up the lyrics, and they don't go with the fic. But I DON'T CARE!! Please use the box below! `_~   
  
P.S.- I know there might be a few mistakes. Do you know how big of a pain it is to convert a Word 2000 file to and HTML format? -.-; 


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